The 10 Weirdest/Useless Smartphone Apps Ever

By Branko Miletic

With literally hundreds of thousands of apps available for smartphones, you’d think the odd useless/stupid/weird one would slip through the cracksdd. And you’d be right. With that in mind we decided to list our worst, weirdest, dumbest and the most totally, utterly useless smartphone apps ever invented. Please let us know if you can better our list…

IPhone
Hold On!-
Have you ever wanted to know how long you can hold down a button on your iPhone? Really? Well, if you download Hold On! you will be able to find out. And then you can tell all your friends of your achievement. It will help with developing your perseverance along with sore fingertips. Only for people with way too much time on their hands.

Places I think I’ve been drunk– this app will help you track all the places around the world you have over-indulged in an ale or two. It’s great if your idea of bragging about your travels also includes blackouts and waking up in gutters wearing nothing but your birthday suit.

iDrunkTXT- Keeping on the inebriated theme, this app allows you to text your friends in ‘drink mode’. This is great for teenagers although I would suggest if you are a politician, sportsperson, lawyer or anyone that values their career and/or relationships, I would suggest not downloading this app.

iFartPro – Yes I know what you are thinking- what kind of a gross person would download a fart app whose only function is to make a range of loud and near-realistic fart sounds? Good question but one that is surpassed by the other question of who on earth would download the Pro version of this app? It is a very strange world out there.

iSteam bath– This is a cute little app which it allows you fill up an onscreen bath with hot water and as the water rises, so does the ‘steam’ on your screen, which you can then wipe off with your finger just like your bathroom mirror. And the purpose? No idea.

iFrenchKiss- If it’s been bugging you lately whether or not you are a great kisser, then this app may be of assistance. Using what the makers call a ‘proprietary kissing analysis engine’, you will be scored on your puckering ability. A word of warning though – imagine what people will think of you when they see you kissing your iPhone in public?

Android
Nose Candy-
If you have ever wanted to do drugs without actually doing drugs- or should I say without the risk of death, imprisonment, incapacitation, social exclusion etc., then download this app. You can pour your out digital cocaine from a vial, cut it with your virtual razor, and then ‘virtually’ snort it. Whilst it even makes your phone let out snorting noises and allows you to play for points, personally I would just say no! File this one under both ‘stupid’ and ‘useless’.

PoopLog-There is a solid (ahem) theory that says the size and shape of one’s waste is an indicator of one’s overall health. With this android app you can now compare your waste to those standard depictions on the app. Whilst this app may have some medical use; the fact that you can tweet or post your poops on Facebook is a bit disturbing to say the least.

I Eat Cockroaches- This app will pour a handful of virtual Cockroaches into a cocktail shaker on your screen which you can then share with your friends. Totally, utterly gross!

Pimple Popper -This app will allow you to pop a virtual pimple while building patience and skill so as not to create a mess. I hope you are not reading this whilst eating.

 

 

 

 

 

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